Monday, February 11, 2013

Checkin' off the list

The list of goals hanging in our kitchen is working.  Having it there for all to see helps me to not forget about it.  

Last week was busy.  You can tell by looking at my house.  It is quite a mess with loads of laundry to catch up on, but who cares.  Last week I did a lot of emailing back and forth to my 4 1/2 year olds new preschool!  It's official, he is starting this week.  We are so excited to be accomplishing one of the goals set for him.  He is excited as well!  

On the mom side of it, now that the time is here, it makes my heart hurt a little.  I've been crying a little here and there....I won't deny it.  With three kids in our tiny house, for the past year, I would dream of the day that I would be able to send him off to school for part of the day for a little bit of relief.  Don't get me wrong, the relief that will soon come with him attending preschool will be welcomed with open arms.  But, it is sad that my little guy is not so little anymore.  It makes me feel guilty that I didn't do more fun things one on one with him in his first 4 1/2 years of life.  I hope that he looks back at this time and thinks it was fun.  I admit that I have taken for granted this time with my first, as if he was going to be home with me forever.  I know I am not sending him off to college just yet, but it's the first step along the way to his independence.  And for heavens sake, he is only going to be gone for a few hours a couple days of the week and I can see his school from my front yard, but it will still be tough.  He won't be in my care.  I am putting my trust in people I barely know to watch and teach my beautiful boy who has spent only one night away from me EVER!  I have to look at the positive though.  Even though he has been tethered to me since birth, we have raised quite an independent little man who is ready and willing to go out into the world of preschool with no hesitation.  When we went to visit the school, he was freaking out a little, but once he saw all that preschool had to offer, he was ready to fly.  My husband and I could have left him there right then, and he wouldn't have cared.  It hurt just a bit, but the joy in his eyes and his big boy confidence makes up for my momma pains.  I will make it through.  All mommas do.  :)

As for the rest of the week, I was busy researching what prefold diapers and diaper covers I would like to buy to build up my stash some more, as well as researching ways to cut our monthly luxury costs; i.e. cable/phone bill.  Let me tell you, that is a chore and it's  hard to let go of things that are nice to have, but you don't NEED.  I sat at the computer all week.  I will tell you all about my findings, and what works for us soon!  

I leave you with a poem....

Momma B

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